Six months have passed since the heartbreaking loss of Stephen “tWitch” Boss, a beloved dancer, a devoted father of three, and the DJ and executive producer of The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Now, his mother, Connie, opens up to PEOPLE magazine, sharing her love and memories of her son.

Time seems to play tricks on Connie’s heart as she navigates the pain of Stephen’s death last December. Living in Phoenix with her other son, she finds solace in her unwavering faith, knowing deep in her heart that she will be reunited with Stephen again. “Rather than dwell on how he left this earth,” Connie shares, “I focus on the belief that this is not the end. That’s where I find my peace.”

The memories of their last interaction remain etched in Connie’s mind. The day before he passed, Stephen checked her well-being while she was sick. “That was the last time we talked,” she says. The shocking news of his struggles with depression and his tragic end blindsided her. Stephen was someone who constantly sought self-improvement, delving into self-help books and analyzing his growth. The depth of his pain was unfathomable.

Even after his passing, Connie admits that she had difficulty accepting how he died. “I genuinely believed that something had happened to him,” she recalls.

On that fateful Tuesday morning in December, Connie received the devastating news that Stephen was missing. Panic set in as she frantically reached out to anyone who might have seen or heard from him. The uncertainty grew, and she and her brother hastily booked plane tickets to be by Stephen’s side.

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As she prepared to travel, Connie underwent a rapid COVID test due to her illness. “Then my brother called, and my sister-in-law asked about my whereabouts,” Connie remembers. “In the pit of my stomach, I knew something was wrong.”

She rushed to her parent’s house, where she was met with their solemn gazes. “Have you heard something?” Connie pleaded. And then she heard the words that shattered her world: “Connie, he’s gone.” The weight of the truth sent her into screams and a bewildered collapse. The rest of that day remains a blur in her memory.

In the days and weeks that followed, Connie grappled with the reality of what had transpired. She delved into introspection, questioning herself and searching for any missed signs or hidden meanings in their conversations. “At this point, I’m coming to terms with the truth,” she reflects. “Each morning when I wake up, it hits me that he is truly not physically here. But in my mind, I can hear him say, ‘Hey, Mom. I’m okay.’”

In the quiet moments, Connie still finds herself reaching for her phone, ready to send a text to Stephen. She holds tightly to their final exchange of words, where he expresses his love for her, and she reciprocates in kind. “He began that last text with, ‘I love you, Mom,’” she recalls. “And I replied, ‘I love you more.’”