Britney Spears had the whole world watching her appearance in court yesterday as she asked the judge to end her conservatory. As #FreeBritney trended everywhere, hearts broke as she made shocking claims about the harm it has caused her. The more than 20-minute speech was powerful and it seems like everyone except her conservators is on her side.

While Britney has been living in fear that no one would believe her, she’s been putting on a facade on Instagram that led many to believe she wasn’t running her account. Over the last couple of years, people have left comments telling Britney to wear clues in her next video if she needed help, but following her court appearance, she revealed on Instagram that she has been pretending like everything was okay for the past two years, admitting it actually helped.

©BritneySpears

Spears shared a photo of a little girl with a monkey backpack and teddy bear walking through a green path with the Albert Einstein quote, “If you want your children to be intelligent, read them fairy tales. If you want them to be more intelligent, read them more fairy tales.” Britney wrote in the caption, “I just want to tell you guys a little secret. I believe as people we all want the fairy tale life and by the way, I’ve posted my life seems to look and be pretty amazing.” She said that was one of her mother’s best traits, “No matter how shitty a day was when I was younger… for the sake of me and my siblings she always pretended like everything was ok,” she wrote. “I’m bringing this to people’s attention because I don’t want people to think my life is perfect because IT’S DEFINITELY NOT AT ALL.”

Spears addressed everything in the news and said people obviously know now that it’s not and apologized for “pretending like I’ve been ok the past two years.” The performer said she did it because of pride and was “embarrassed to share what happened” adding, “Believe it or not pretending that I’m ok has actually helped … I feel like Instagram has helped me have a cool outlet to share my presence … existence.”

Following Britney’s appearance, Spears attorney Samuel Ingham III told the court now that the singer had her say, she would like “proceedings sealed going forward.” How those proceedings move ahead is TBD as no formal petition for termination of the conservatorship has actually be filed, per Deadline.