Camila Cabello got candid about her struggles with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In an op-ed written for wsj.com, the 23-year-old revealed that she suffered in silence while she came to terms with the mental health disorder. “If you look at the pictures I’ve posted on Instagram over the last year, you’ll find pictures of me writing in the studio, pictures in a hallway in a bomb-dot-com outfit before going onstage to perform, pictures of me cuddled up with my dog, Eugene, on a couch, and pictures of me bursting with excitement to play you my music,” she wrote. “But here’s what there aren’t pictures of from the last year: me crying in the car talking to my mom about how much anxiety and how many symptoms of OCD I was experiencing.”
Camila, who has become more open with her struggles, shared other situations that she hid: “My mom and me in a hotel room reading books about OCD because I was desperate for relief. Me experiencing what felt like constant, unwavering, relentless anxiety that made day-to-day life painfully hard.”
The My Oh My singer went on to explain that it was hard for her to talk about “what it feels like to be at war in our minds and in our bodies,” and how she struggled to open up to friends, family and those close to her. Camila acknowledged that the best way for her to cope and comes to terms with it was to act like it didn’t exist. When she realized that wasn’t the best solution, she decided to seek the help that she needed.
One of the biggest symptoms was her anxiety. The Señorita singer shared that OCD isn’t how it’s depicted. “OCD is not how it’s stereotyped, like, ‘She’s so OCD about her desk being organized’, etc. OCD can take many different forms, and for me it was obsessive thoughts and compulsive behaviors,” the Cuban songstress revealed. “To put it simply, it made me feel like my mind was playing a cruel trick on me. It affected me physically, too. I couldn’t sleep for a long time, I had a constant knot in my throat, I had chronic headaches, and my body went through what felt like multiple roller-coaster rides every day.”
Camila also added that her OCD robbed her of humor, joy, creativity and trust. Now, the superstar has learned to embrace the anxiety and no longer let it take control over her every day life. After getting the help and taking the steps that she needed, the Bad Romance singer proudly shared that she is in a good place. “I feel the healthiest and most connected to myself I’ve ever been, and nowadays I rarely suffer from OCD symptoms,” she wrote. “Anxiety comes and goes, but now it feels like just another difficult emotion, as opposed to something that’s consuming my life. By doing the work and showing up for myself every day, I feel like I have more trust in myself than ever before.”